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Python Parents Arrested

I can't believe it. Finally, the authorities arrest a parent that deserves it.

In Las Vegas a few days ago, I read this story. Now on the news, I hear the parents were arrested.

Their 3-year-old boy was attacked by their pet python. This 18-foot snake bit the infant and coiled around the boy. Any guesses on how the python uncoiled?

(imagine that Jeopardy music in your head right now)

Well, as the snake was squeezing the life out of the child, his mom stabbed it with a kitchen knife. She must've looked like Anthony Perkins in the shower, as she jabbed it more than a dozen times before it finally let go.

It was later euthanized.

I'm not sure why PETA isn't protesting outside their house. I mean, an animal was killed. And a human almost was, too.

Since the parents have been arrested on felony child neglect and abuse charges, why can't we get some of these charges against that white trash Angelina Jolie look alike?

The photos have now come out showing her belly a few days before the 8 babies popped out. You see veins, and...well, it looks like she's smuggling a mini cooper or something.

I've argued with my stepdad and racquetball partner. They both think the best place for kids is with the mom. They say you don't just take kids away unless there's some abuse going on.

Well, having 13 kids live in a 3-bedroom house (one bedroom being your mom), and havine a million dollar hospital bill, and spending money on lip enhancement surgery and in vitro treatments...well, this tells us the woman might not be right in the head. Why should we stand around waiting for something to happen to these kids?

Sure, it might not be an 18-foot python. It might be an 18-foot, rogue umbilical cord that comes out of this crazy lady....

Hey, I have an idea for a villian in the next Batman movie!

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I can't believe it. Finally, the authorities arrest a parent that deserves it.

In Las Vegas a few days ago, I read this story. Now on the news, I hear the parents were arrested.

Their 3-year-old boy was attacked by their pet python. This 18-foot snake bit the infant and coiled around the boy. Any guesses on how the python uncoiled?

(imagine that Jeopardy music in your head right now)

Well, as the snake was squeezing the life out of the child, his mom stabbed it with a kitchen knife. She must've looked like Anthony Perkins in the shower, as she jabbed it more than a dozen times before it finally let go.

It was later euthanized.

I'm not sure why PETA isn't protesting outside their house. I mean, an animal was killed. And a human almost was, too.

Since the parents have been arrested on felony child neglect and abuse charges, why can't we get some of these charges against that white trash Angelina Jolie look alike?

The photos have now come out showing her belly a few days before the 8 babies popped out. You see veins, and...well, it looks like she's smuggling a mini cooper or something.

I've argued with my stepdad and racquetball partner. They both think the best place for kids is with the mom. They say you don't just take kids away unless there's some abuse going on.

Well, having 13 kids live in a 3-bedroom house (one bedroom being your mom), and havine a million dollar hospital bill, and spending money on lip enhancement surgery and in vitro treatments...well, this tells us the woman might not be right in the head. Why should we stand around waiting for something to happen to these kids?

Sure, it might not be an 18-foot python. It might be an 18-foot, rogue umbilical cord that comes out of this crazy lady....

Hey, I have an idea for a villian in the next Batman movie!

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