Fake Friends

The girl that killed herself from a phony friend on Myspace.

So, the other story that really got me bothered was this girl in Missouri that hung herself. She was 13. I had a classmate named Michael, that hung himself when he was a year younger.

What makes this story so odd, was that it happened when an adult living on the same street, created a fake Myspace account, to create a fictional boy to befriend her. The woman says she did this, to find out why this girl was fighting with her daughter.

As weird as that sounds, I don't have as much of a problem with that. It's kind of a technological update of parents reading their kids diaries -- them logging on with fake names and getting on their kids myspace accounts.

But, after six weeks of this, the woman then slams this kid, calling her all kinds of names before disappearing.

The girl goes and kills herself.

Now, they aren't releasing the name of this woman, to protect HER kids (I agree with that; they shouldn't be made fun of or in harms way because of her idiocy).

But, the authorities are saying there is nothing they can charge this woman with. And, if that's true, we really need to change some laws in this country.

If we can pass laws that you can't talk on your cell phone while driving, or smoke a cigarette in a building, or have a glass of wine on the beach...but an adult can play mind games with a minor....


You may not have a problem with what that adult did but I sure do. Why would she resort to "tricking" this girl in order to find out why the 2 girls were fighting? It is sad that as an adult she is not equipped with more coping tools than a teenager. In fact, it is more than sad, this time it is a disaster. Clearly, by what the woman did she assumed that her child was doing nothing wrong. She chose to harass a kid using her kid as justification. I must throw out the bull---- flag on that one. Seek help for yourself to find out why you don't have better conflict resolution skills so that you can help your child solve this problem in a healthy way, without anyone having to die for God's sake. The children in this country are suffering from horrible parenting, if not their own parents then someone else's parents. QUIT RAISING BULLIES! I must say that clearly from the way the parent handled this situation, it was her kid that was the bully. Her child learned from her mother's inadequacies that bullying people is how you solve your own self-esteem issues. Get your children involved in sports and/or music and monitor how much time they are spending on the computer and what they are doing on it. Teach them how to cope with negative situations in a healthy, positive manner. In addition, parents quit allowing your kids to have a myspace account. If they don't have a myspace then they won't be bullied on it. I imagine that for a bully, if your target isn't reading your words, that takes all the fun out of it. I do agree with you on your point that most certainly, the mother of the child who is still alive should be charged with at least manslaughter. As soon as we show adults that in our society kids are just as important as they are, eventually adults will stop victimizing children. In fact, since adults know better, they should be dealt with in a zero tolerance fashion, just like the kids are dealt with in school.

Seriously, what positive impact has myspace had on our society? Unfortunately, this is not the first child to commit suicide because of cyber bullying and even more unfortunate she won't be the last. I can not think of one positive thing that myspace brings to the table. From what I can tell it makes bullying and pedophilia easier than ever. Those 2 things far outweigh any ill conceived benefits.

Well, I don't want to sound like my grandmother and say a phrase about throwing out the baby with the bath water. Myspace wasn't created for 13 year olds, and it shouldn't be banned, because some 13 year olds have died. Myspace WAS created for bands, as a cheap way (i.e. FREE) for them to have websites. And, it works well for that. Why others have Myspaces, that ARE NOT in bands, or artists of some kind that can display their work, are just egomaniacs or idiots, in my opinion. And, parents should not let their kids have them, unless they can monitor them. I think the parents of the girl that killed herself (as bad as I feel for them), are responsible, too. For letting her have the account (especially "knowing" how she takes things), and not monitoring it more closely. And, now that I think about it...you are right. A parent should have better skills then needing to create an account to trick a kid into finding out info. I take that back.

Must be "Bad Parenting Week" in the blogs.

Josh, Thank you for explaining to me the origin of myspace. I didn't know what its original purpose was. In other words, other than serving artists, apparently it doesn't have a legitimate place in the everyday life of teenagers. I agree with you about the egomaniacs having the myspace accounts. I addressed so much in my initial response that I didn't want to mention that opinion also, but I agree with you wholeheartedly. I addressed the responsibilities of ALL parents in my response when I said quit raising bullies AND quit allowing your children to have a myspace.

I've had friends tell me that I should have a Myspace, for my writing. I tell them they can read it in the Reader. Even these blogs, aren't my idea. My boss asked me to do them. And, with some of the other publications I write for, it's the same thing. Regarding bullies...growing up, I handled bullies well, because I could be funny and talk my way out of stuff. But, schools need to clamp down. When teachers see bullies, it shouldn't be tolerated. Other kids, aren't as resourceful, or quick witted. I remember this tall black guy on my basketball team making fun of me for wearing a Doors shirt. He wouldn't let up. The entire team was laughing at me. I got in his face and said, "Some guy that looks like Rog' from What's Happenin' is making fun of the shirts I wear?" The entire team then laughed at him. He never made fun of me the rest of the year. But...my stepdad, his logic to bullies was that stupid line about "punch them in the face and stand up to them." He grew up in New York. And, he was a boxer. Not always the best advice.

I became a very good runner. I was a skinny kid that liked to swim and ice skate. I got to be a good runner because I had to run home as fast as I could everyday because there was always some bully waiting after the bell rang to kick my ass. I hated high school, it was full of bullys.

As always Josh, it is an absolute pleasure to debate with you. We have always been able to have such incredible conversations. You bring up interesting points and aren't so closed minded that you can't see another point of view. I have been participating in the blogs for a couple of weeks now and figured this was the appropriate blog subject matter to out myself. Wouldn't want to be labeled a fake! Today is the first day I registered with my username and I figured you'd be able to figure out who I am with that clue--plus the issues that I have raised with a couple of your blog topics.

Hmmm...not sure. All Zoso fan tells me, is that you're a Led Zeppelin fan (since that's what many call Zep's 4th, untitled album, because of the symbol on it). And, I have a bunch of friends that love Zeppelin. SO, it doesn't give me any clues! But, feel free to call me Reader voice mail line if you ever wanna catch up. Regarding you running fast, reminds me of two movies; most recent, Forrest Gump, and how he became a great runner. And, when I was a kid, a real life, made for TV movie about an Olympic runner that became a great runner because his mom would hang his sheets out the window when he wet the bed. So, he'd run home before other kids got home, and he'd be able to take them down.

Only comments 1,5, and 8 are mine. I didn't make the comment about being bullied and becoming a fast runner. There a lot of people who use the sdblogger as their deal with this so not every sdblogger comment is mine. Is the Reader voice mail line the same that is posted at the end of the Crasher columns? In the meantime, let me try to narrow it down for you, I am female, you have known me a LONG time, and we were always able to have spirited discussions about anything and everything.

Sorry, I'm getting into this late, but what can you charge the woman with? She didn't know that the girl was going to commit suicide or that she may have been that mentally unstable. Personally? I think we should all have some personal responsibility and stop blaming everyone else for our downfalls. This story only made headlines b/c the girl killed herself. I'm sure the type of conduct by the woman is not isolated. True, it is sad that she died and true, that bullying stinks, and yes, I agree that the woman handled it completely in the wrong way. But legal charges? I don't think so. I'll bet the woman is going through some major guilt knowing she helped that girl through that noose and will have to live with that everyday for the rest of her life.

Good point, sort of. Here's the problem, Redsox. It's the same as on that show, when adults go over to the house, with the intention of having sex with a minor. Then, they say "how can you arrest me? I didn't do anything. I was merely talking provocatively on the computer, that's it." Well, when an adult manipulates a child, on the computer, to me...that should be considered a crime. You are correct, if one adult bullies another adult, and that adult kills themself, no crime. That adult obviously had mental problems. I mean, the kid obviously did, too. But, an adult was toying with a kid. I don't think that's a fair, mental, match up.

Redsox, your point is irrelevant and even irrational because we are talking about a child versus an adult. She should feel guilty but that doesn't mean she shouldn't also answer for her actions legally. Feeling guilty doesn't excuse one's actions and make it all better. This was an adult-child situation, not 2 adults. You also mention in support of your point that the woman's actions aren't isolated.....so what? Just because other people have done it, doesn't make it okay. I do agree with you that we all should have personal responsibility, but that starts with adults. Children learn from adults.

Well, to play devils adovacate zoso, I think redsox point was....if an adult says to a get on the sidewalk "stop riding your skateboard on my driveway, you losers! Go do your homework, and maybe then, you won't be failing your math class!" And that kid goes and kills himself because he's so distraught over that comment, that doesn't then make that adult liable, legally, just because it's...as you say...a child-adult, confrontation. Although, in the computer situation, I think that's different. You are gaining the trust, and confidence, of a child, with a devious intention. That's completely wrong.

Ah, but that is not what we were talking about. It is difficult to play devil's advocate effectively when you aren't referencing the same situation.

I understand your points, zoso and Josh, but what law did she break? I know it's deviant behavior. I understand that, and sure, it's wrong. But how can you prosecute and with what ammo? I'm with both of you..really...something should be done, but how? And I NEVER said it was "okay" b/c this is probably not an isolated incident. I merely stated that this made headlines b/c the girl committed suicide and probably wouldn't have made any news had she not. Hope that made sense.

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