Gangway to Hell: The Love Boat sails again

It floats back to you

It was Central Casting's answer to the elephant's graveyard, the last shot at the limelight for many a faded star. The Love Boat served up talent from the golden age in a tarnished bowl. Here was a weekly reminder that old Hollywood was dying off and thanks to Hollywood gravedigger Aaron Spelling, the bodies were stacking up right before our very eyes.

I refused to set sail during the program's original run. The Boat's open-casket reverie didn't hit me until years later when the show was in syndication. Being the head of a cable television dispatch office offered the rare luxury of having a TV on during every second of my workday. Das Love Boot, as it was dubbed, aired three times during the course of business hours. At 12 p.m., 1 p.m., and 4 p.m., we dutifully tuned in to catch each show's boarding list.

The absence of The Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon left a 24-hour hole in my Labor Day festivities. Instead of tote boards and "Timpanis!" I set a course for adventure, my mind on a old distraction. It took some time, but eventually I was able to track down every episode of TLB on YouTube. Believe me: it floats back to you.

What a difference a month makes. I had every intention of including a favorite episode or two -- Mackenzie Phillips as Gopher's transgendered college roommate, Ethel Merman and Gene Rayburn as husband and wife -- for your viewing pleasure, but in the time it took to put this post together, they had all but vanished.

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/nov/07/35090/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/11/07/love_boat_disclaimer_t500x367.jpg?bc32e9271334eed6e80605e67b5f3645879bd71d" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

Luckily I save my old screencaps. Here are but a few of my favorite Love Boat players and several dream guests that would surely set sail today if Tori ever decides to once again make the old scow seaworthy.

A complete listing of Love Boat stars is yours for the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_The_Love_Boat_guest_stars">clicking.

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/05/30967/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/09/05/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_1_t500x376.jpg?7bc0aa525a9e36a406e2fda41b672948983461a2" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/05/30972/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/09/05/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_4_t500x373.png?c6a918e1685a908cbcc2fc7333bc99851fcdea82" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/05/30970/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/09/05/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_3_t500x373.jpg?c6a918e1685a908cbcc2fc7333bc99851fcdea82" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/05/30968/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/09/05/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_2_t500x375.jpg?6082a6e19397c060de339a01cf43e8e65a1eebc9" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/sep/05/30973/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/09/05/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_5_t500x375.jpg?6082a6e19397c060de339a01cf43e8e65a1eebc9" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/nov/01/34764/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/11/01/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_11_t500x375.jpg?6082a6e19397c060de339a01cf43e8e65a1eebc9" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/nov/01/34765/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/11/01/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_13_t500x376.jpg?7bc0aa525a9e36a406e2fda41b672948983461a2" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/nov/01/34766/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/11/01/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_17_t500x375.jpg?6082a6e19397c060de339a01cf43e8e65a1eebc9" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/nov/01/34767/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/11/01/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_9_t500x374.jpg?564e90b7210b402c88ef8c1653e368a9675311cc" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/nov/01/34768/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/11/01/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_6_t500x374.jpg?564e90b7210b402c88ef8c1653e368a9675311cc" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/nov/07/35088/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/11/07/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_7_t500x373.jpg?c6a918e1685a908cbcc2fc7333bc99851fcdea82" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/nov/07/35089/">https://media.sandiegoreader.com/img/photos/2012/11/07/LOVE_BOAT_STAMPS_12_t500x374.jpg?564e90b7210b402c88ef8c1653e368a9675311cc" alt="None">

by Scott Marks

Comments

The Montgomery Clift still just shatters me:

MONTY: "Was she feeble minded? My mother...was she?" GOPHER: "Your mother's on the Lido deck - suite 463".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UG6w53Yz4D4

Log in to comment

Skip Ad
Close

Let’s Be Friends

Subscribe for local event alerts, concerts tickets, promotions and more from the San Diego Reader