April 1, 2016
“I am the greatest!”
Republican National Committee Chairman Buford Lunk grimaces in apparent pain as he raises the gold-lamé glove of a victorious Donald Trump while simultaneously pushing pleading challenger (and former champ) Mitt Romney out of the ring. Romney would later complain that Trump did not actually throw any punches during the bout, but merely strutted the ring and pounded his chest for the wildly enthusiastic crowd.
“It’s simply inconceivable that I could ever lose to man who is so full of himself that he looks ready to burst his seams,” protested the former boxer, governor, and presidential candidate. “Just look at that bloat! And so soft where it counts — on the issues!”
The judges’ decision, however, was unanimous. A jiggling, swaggering Trump, meanwhile, responded that he was impressed at how much fight he found in Romney, “especially considering how little of it the American people saw back in 2008.”