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Patriots Head Coach and Chief Necromancer Bill Belichick consults the Pearl of Seeing embedded in his Coaching Staff in order to divine his opponent's upcoming play in a 2012 game against the Buffalo Bills. "Just one of the marvelous inventions this trade will let us play with," gushes McCoy. "With this whole stadium scenario shaping up the way it is, we really need a tip-top season to get the locals excited if we're going to stay in San Diego. Something like what the Padres did when they sacrificed the San Diego Chicken to the Dark Gods in order to make the World Series in '98. They lost the Series, but they got their stadium. Totally worth it."

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