San Diego State debuts new Spirit Leader

From Monty Montezuma to Alejandro Aztec

Apparently, “Cootchie-cootchie-coo” is Nahuatl for “Vanquish, vanquish enemies.”
  • Apparently, “Cootchie-cootchie-coo” is Nahuatl for “Vanquish, vanquish enemies.”

San Diego State University President Randy Rush today addressed the ongoing controversy surrounding the former mascot for the school’s athletic competitions. While the great marority of students, faculty, and alumnae favored maintaining a human Azetc warrior mascot and even the name Monty Montezuma, Rush noted that “it only takes a few unhappy souls to send a university president packing.”

Rush declined to say which university president he had in mind, and instead sought to focus on the changes SDSU has in store for what used to be its mascot and is now its Spirit Leader.

“As indicated in our initial statement, we did not feel it befitting to Alejandro’s status as a warrior to be dancing with the SDSU cheerleaders. And given our increased antipathy toward demonizing ancient indigenous cultures, we couldn’t very well have him performing mock sacrifices with them in an effort to bring victory, either. We felt the tickle stick (pictured) was an ideal compromise: nothing as violent and brutal as Monty’s famous spear - you know, the one he used to plant in the ground in front of the opposing team at halftime. Rather, it lets him interact with the cheerleaders while neither fraternizing with them through dance nor assaulting them through sacrifice. Instead, he draws forth their delighted laughter with the Tickle Stick’s traditional feather-top, increasing the joy and merriment of all in attendance."

"Alejandro is not simply a warrior; he’s a warrior-priest, and the girls’ rippling laughter is his offering to the wind-god Quetzalcoatl. Speaking of that feathered serpent divinity, we included an updated image of him in Alejandro’s redesigned raiment. The image, on his headdress, hails from the Cartoon Network series Bunnicula. Kids today love cartoons, so we’re thinking this will help tamp down the outrage. Plus, that particular manifestation is female, so we’ve got some gender inclusivity working. The young people of today are big on that, right?”

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Comments

hahaha, another classic! I'm thinking whenever those migrant children start their annoying crying simply because they can't find their parents who might now be living in a closed-down Tyson chicken-processing plant in Kansas, just use the tickle stick on the kids and they'll be fine!

Is that a weasel on his head? "Spirit Weasel"? Those that have changed Monty to this character will come and go from SDSU in 5.5 years. I am a proud Aztec of 40+ years.

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