Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

The babysitter’s fast slap, on a German cockroach

Next collection forthcoming

Anna Abraham Gasaway
Anna Abraham Gasaway

Stain

  • It all depended
  • upon the peach juice
  • trickling down her arm,
  • and icy Kool-Aid drunk
  • from green aluminum Tupperware tumblers,
  • and lily-of-the-valleys,
  • like tiny tea-cups
  • in a fairy kingdom,
  • and picking blackberries
  • in sand buckets,
  • they stained so purple.
  • And the rains, 12 inches deep
  • that doused the anthills,
  • mud squelching between her toes.
  • And the babysitter’s fast slap,
  • on a German cockroach,
  • its antennae still wriggling
  • long after, and the
  • Naugahyde couch,
  • where Cheetos-smelling children
  • made sweaty indentations
  • while watching Dynasty.
  • In that summer of separation,
  • we knew all, but did not speak.

Spoken on the Birth of my Daughter

  • Morning Nurse said, “This never happens to bitches.”
  • OB said, “We can try again in three months.”
  • “David was so looking forward to his princess,”
  • said a friend of my husband’s.
  • “It was nothing you did or didn’t do.
  • You have to believe that. Things happen,”
  • my friend Laura said.
  • “Yell at God! He can take it,
  • and my Jesus,
  • my Savior weeps with you,” said Pastor Tim.
  • Remarkable the way people now felt free to tell me their stories,
  • I feel inducted into their secret society.
  • “My daughter would have been 42. I still mark her birthday.”
  • “James. His heart stopped beating in my arms.”
  • “Connor, from a genetic defect. He never made it out of the hospital.”
  • “Rebecca. Made it all the way to 40 weeks. Cord accident.”
  • So many ways for a baby to die,
  • it’s a wonder that any of us live.
  • What I know to be true:
  • “The fetal surface is cloudy, dusky…”
  • like the waters before God spoke them into life.
  • “Surface vessels are normal,”
  • Doctor could not see, I could not hear.
  • Sylvia Sage Gasaway’s heart stopped beating at 36 weeks.
  • My breast dripped milk for months after

Originally from Gary, Indiana, Anna Abraham Gasaway has resided in San Diego for 12 years. She has been featured in the spoken-word showcase of VAMP/ So Say We All, won awards from Mesa College, and been published in Mesa Visions and CityWorks. She is currently working on a collection of poetry called Silence, Please. She lives with her husband, son, and dog in Linda Vista.

Sponsored
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Reader Music Issue short takes

Obervatory's mosh pit, frenetic Rafael Payare, Lemonhead chaos, bleedforthescene, Coronado Tasting Room
Next Article

Didja know I did the first American feature on Jimi Hendrix?

Richard Meltzer goes through the Germs, Blue Oyster Cult, Ray Charles, Elvis, Lavender Hill Mob
Anna Abraham Gasaway
Anna Abraham Gasaway

Stain

  • It all depended
  • upon the peach juice
  • trickling down her arm,
  • and icy Kool-Aid drunk
  • from green aluminum Tupperware tumblers,
  • and lily-of-the-valleys,
  • like tiny tea-cups
  • in a fairy kingdom,
  • and picking blackberries
  • in sand buckets,
  • they stained so purple.
  • And the rains, 12 inches deep
  • that doused the anthills,
  • mud squelching between her toes.
  • And the babysitter’s fast slap,
  • on a German cockroach,
  • its antennae still wriggling
  • long after, and the
  • Naugahyde couch,
  • where Cheetos-smelling children
  • made sweaty indentations
  • while watching Dynasty.
  • In that summer of separation,
  • we knew all, but did not speak.

Spoken on the Birth of my Daughter

  • Morning Nurse said, “This never happens to bitches.”
  • OB said, “We can try again in three months.”
  • “David was so looking forward to his princess,”
  • said a friend of my husband’s.
  • “It was nothing you did or didn’t do.
  • You have to believe that. Things happen,”
  • my friend Laura said.
  • “Yell at God! He can take it,
  • and my Jesus,
  • my Savior weeps with you,” said Pastor Tim.
  • Remarkable the way people now felt free to tell me their stories,
  • I feel inducted into their secret society.
  • “My daughter would have been 42. I still mark her birthday.”
  • “James. His heart stopped beating in my arms.”
  • “Connor, from a genetic defect. He never made it out of the hospital.”
  • “Rebecca. Made it all the way to 40 weeks. Cord accident.”
  • So many ways for a baby to die,
  • it’s a wonder that any of us live.
  • What I know to be true:
  • “The fetal surface is cloudy, dusky…”
  • like the waters before God spoke them into life.
  • “Surface vessels are normal,”
  • Doctor could not see, I could not hear.
  • Sylvia Sage Gasaway’s heart stopped beating at 36 weeks.
  • My breast dripped milk for months after

Originally from Gary, Indiana, Anna Abraham Gasaway has resided in San Diego for 12 years. She has been featured in the spoken-word showcase of VAMP/ So Say We All, won awards from Mesa College, and been published in Mesa Visions and CityWorks. She is currently working on a collection of poetry called Silence, Please. She lives with her husband, son, and dog in Linda Vista.

Sponsored
Sponsored
Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

2024 continues to impress with yellowfin much closer to San Diego than they should be

New rockfish regulations coming this week as opener approaches
Next Article

Reader Music Issue short takes

Obervatory's mosh pit, frenetic Rafael Payare, Lemonhead chaos, bleedforthescene, Coronado Tasting Room
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.