Trump dismisses San Diego-based lawsuit, citing primacy of “showbiz” over “regular biz”

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Trump addresses members of the press dressed as the Dauphin from Huckleberry Finn. “Was Twain’s Dauphin really the heir to the throne of France? Who cares? What matters is that he was a great American: someone with the courage to write his own narrative and make his own history. Someone with the guts to take risks to get what he wanted. Americans don’t want honesty from their leaders; I think the past 100 years have made that pretty clear. What they want is results, and a good story to go along with them. And that’s what I can provide, just like what the Dauphin provided Huck.” When a reporter pointed out that the Dauphin was eventually tarred and feathered for his swindles, Trump replied that it was probably the work of religious extremists “who have no place in this great nation, then or now.”
  • Trump addresses members of the press dressed as the Dauphin from Huckleberry Finn. “Was Twain’s Dauphin really the heir to the throne of France? Who cares? What matters is that he was a great American: someone with the courage to write his own narrative and make his own history. Someone with the guts to take risks to get what he wanted. Americans don’t want honesty from their leaders; I think the past 100 years have made that pretty clear. What they want is results, and a good story to go along with them. And that’s what I can provide, just like what the Dauphin provided Huck.” When a reporter pointed out that the Dauphin was eventually tarred and feathered for his swindles, Trump replied that it was probably the work of religious extremists “who have no place in this great nation, then or now.”

Trump’s proposal for a revamped Lincoln Memorial. “First, we close off the big open entrance; people will pay to see Honest Abe, just like they pay to light up the Caravaggios in those Roman churches. Then, we replace those boring old pillars with some red, white, and blue — this is America, dammit! And get an eagle up there on top! Finally, we put a big statue of P.T. Barnum out front: the greatest American of all time, the man who understood that we love a good show more than anything, and that there’s a sucker born every minute.”

Trump’s proposal for a revamped Lincoln Memorial. “First, we close off the big open entrance; people will pay to see Honest Abe, just like they pay to light up the Caravaggios in those Roman churches. Then, we replace those boring old pillars with some red, white, and blue — this is America, dammit! And get an eagle up there on top! Finally, we put a big statue of P.T. Barnum out front: the greatest American of all time, the man who understood that we love a good show more than anything, and that there’s a sucker born every minute.”

FEDERAL COURTHOUSE, SAN DIEGO — “Politics is show business, people,” said Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump at this morning's press conference. “It has been ever since the Lincoln-Douglas debates, and probably before that. All this talk of what I did or didn’t say in my deposition for the Trump University case, over whether I said that biased Judge Gonzalo Curiel was Mexican or of Mexican descent or affiliated with a pro-Mexican organization, it’s all a lot of nonsense. Smoke and mirrors. I’m not crafting legislation here; I’m running a campaign. Are you gonna let a bunch of niggling lawyers get in the way of my showdown with Hillary? I sure hope not. Because that’s not what America wants, and it’s not what made America great."

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