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Not with a roar, but a whimper

A fizzling end to a bang-up year of movies, including Passengers, Lion, and more

Lion: Dev Patel looks back in wonder.
Lion: Dev Patel looks back in wonder.

This is it, folks. Unless you know something I don’t, there will be no new releases next Friday, December 30. (Scott and I will take the occasion to post our two Top Ten Lists, which feature just one overlap!) Instead, they’re throwing a bunch of them at you this week and seeing what sticks. My take: not much.

Movie

Assassin's Creed *

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The titular creed states that, unlike most people, Assassins know that nothing is true and everything is permitted. It’s hard to imagine true believers in such a creed turning around and saying that their own lives are worth nothing and all that matters is the protection of the Apple of Eden (which holds the key to free will), since neither of those statements can be true if nothing is true, and abuse of said apple surely falls under the “everything” in “everything is permitted.” And yet, there they are, the Assassins, sacrificing themselves and their loved ones, jumping off buildings with their wrist switchblades rampant, and taking on entire armies of authoritarian Templars. Go figure. No, don’t — figuring is very much beside the point here. And besides, you might miss how good-looking the movie is, from its dusty, sun-baked rendition of 15th-century Spain, to its surprisingly fun rooftop parkour chase, to its battling-ghosts-of-the-past special effects, to its buffed-out star Michael Fassbender. Miss that, and all you’re left with is an over-cast video game movie. Directed by Justin Kurzel.

Find showtimes

Assassin’s Creed? To me, it just confirms all the bad things I thought about Justin Kurzel’s work after he made the narcoleptic Macbeth. Macbeth! With Fassbender and Cotillard! And here they are again, just as disappointing but this time relying on a video game as story source instead of Shakespeare. Urgh.

Movie

Passengers *

thumbnail

Director Morten Tyldum makes the most of many of his assets in this interplanetary romantic drama: the vast exterior emptiness of space, the vast interior emptiness of the colonist ship <em>Avalon</em> as it is experienced by a single passenger awoken 90 years early, the gently affirming android bartender in the Overlook Hotel-style bar, the devilish/boyish charm of Chris Pratt, the feline/womanly charm of Jennifer Lawrence, and the appealing physiques of both. Beefcake <em>and</em> cheesecake — how equitable! What <em>isn’t</em> equitable is the relationship between these two restless pioneers (he wants a world where he can build things, she wants new journalistic territory to cover), because one of them is keeping a terrible secret from the other. That secret provides the only real drama in their inevitable love affair, and for a while, it looks like it might be enough. But in the end, Tyldum makes the very least of it. Fixing the malfunctioning <em>Avalon</em> requires addressing the fundamental damage, but the film seems to argue that the same does not hold true for the human heart.

Find showtimes

Passengers? Between Serena, Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part One and Part Two, Joy, X-Men: Apocalypse and this, I’m beginning to think maybe Jennifer Lawrence needs to make some kind of change. She was so good in Winter’s Bone, so much fun in American Hustle, and even moving in the first Hunger Games. But lately? Hrm.

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Movie

Fences **

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There’s only one fence in director and star Denzel Washington’s presentation of August Wilson’s play about an outsized personality and the world he finds himself squeezed into: the pine-plank job that trash man, father, and former Negro Leagues baseball star Troy Maxson builds around his backyard over the course of the film. But the plural is no accident: it points to that single fence’s many uses and significances: to keep loved ones in, to keep enemies out, to mark a man’s personal achievements and limitations — the reach of his power and the limits imposed upon him. It’s a lot for a plain wood fence to bear; happily, the real work here is done by the film’s fine cast (including Viola Davis as Maxson’s long-suffering wife) — and even more, by Wilson’s words, which do more to define the territory than any fence ever could. Your best bet is to let those mellifluous, multitudinous words bewitch, bother, and beguile you; then maybe you won’t notice the stagey presentation, slight story, and occasional emotional overreach.

Find showtimes

Fences? It’s hard to know which is more bravura, August Wilson’s dialogue or Denzel Washington’s performance of same, but it’s still an awful stagey movie. And for all the talk about the house, I feel like it should have played more of a role, the way the castle did in Citizen Kane. Instead, it was very much a space inside of which folks moved around. Still, it was the best of my bunch.

Movie

Lion ***

thumbnail

I’d be lyin’ were I to express indifference to <em>Lion</em>, the story of a young man who, twenty years after an unexpected trip on an decommissioned train car deposited him 1000 miles from home, uses Google Earth to reunite with his long-lost family. The task of wringing overpowering visuals out of the simple act of watching characters interface with a computer display has proved daunting to most. Screenwriter Luke Davies and director Garth Davis bypass the cliches with the greatest of ease only to be briefly set off course with a repetitive third act. How many pensive shots of a Christ-like Saroo (Dev Patel) staring into space do we need? Nicole Kidman as Patel’s adoptive mother from down under and Rooney Mara as his supportive girlfriend leave one wanting more of both. The same can be said of five-year-old Sunny Pawar, whose work as the young Saroo deserves major attention from Awards groups.

Find showtimes

The best of Scott’s bunch was the quest-for-birth-parents story Lion (hence the tweak of T. S. Eliot in the title of this post), which gets extra points for overcoming expectations. (Scott loves it when films do that, viz. Remember, et al. The worst was Notes on Blindness, which earned a walk-out — only his second this year but the first that involved leaving his living room. The bad boyfriend romp Why Him? will presumably fall somewhere in between; he’s at the screening now.

What’s that? Why didn’t we review the animated singing competition movie Sing? Because you don’t need a review to know if you want to see that one.

Cheers, all. Here’s to 2017.

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Lion: Dev Patel looks back in wonder.
Lion: Dev Patel looks back in wonder.

This is it, folks. Unless you know something I don’t, there will be no new releases next Friday, December 30. (Scott and I will take the occasion to post our two Top Ten Lists, which feature just one overlap!) Instead, they’re throwing a bunch of them at you this week and seeing what sticks. My take: not much.

Movie

Assassin's Creed *

thumbnail

The titular creed states that, unlike most people, Assassins know that nothing is true and everything is permitted. It’s hard to imagine true believers in such a creed turning around and saying that their own lives are worth nothing and all that matters is the protection of the Apple of Eden (which holds the key to free will), since neither of those statements can be true if nothing is true, and abuse of said apple surely falls under the “everything” in “everything is permitted.” And yet, there they are, the Assassins, sacrificing themselves and their loved ones, jumping off buildings with their wrist switchblades rampant, and taking on entire armies of authoritarian Templars. Go figure. No, don’t — figuring is very much beside the point here. And besides, you might miss how good-looking the movie is, from its dusty, sun-baked rendition of 15th-century Spain, to its surprisingly fun rooftop parkour chase, to its battling-ghosts-of-the-past special effects, to its buffed-out star Michael Fassbender. Miss that, and all you’re left with is an over-cast video game movie. Directed by Justin Kurzel.

Find showtimes

Assassin’s Creed? To me, it just confirms all the bad things I thought about Justin Kurzel’s work after he made the narcoleptic Macbeth. Macbeth! With Fassbender and Cotillard! And here they are again, just as disappointing but this time relying on a video game as story source instead of Shakespeare. Urgh.

Movie

Passengers *

thumbnail

Director Morten Tyldum makes the most of many of his assets in this interplanetary romantic drama: the vast exterior emptiness of space, the vast interior emptiness of the colonist ship <em>Avalon</em> as it is experienced by a single passenger awoken 90 years early, the gently affirming android bartender in the Overlook Hotel-style bar, the devilish/boyish charm of Chris Pratt, the feline/womanly charm of Jennifer Lawrence, and the appealing physiques of both. Beefcake <em>and</em> cheesecake — how equitable! What <em>isn’t</em> equitable is the relationship between these two restless pioneers (he wants a world where he can build things, she wants new journalistic territory to cover), because one of them is keeping a terrible secret from the other. That secret provides the only real drama in their inevitable love affair, and for a while, it looks like it might be enough. But in the end, Tyldum makes the very least of it. Fixing the malfunctioning <em>Avalon</em> requires addressing the fundamental damage, but the film seems to argue that the same does not hold true for the human heart.

Find showtimes

Passengers? Between Serena, Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part One and Part Two, Joy, X-Men: Apocalypse and this, I’m beginning to think maybe Jennifer Lawrence needs to make some kind of change. She was so good in Winter’s Bone, so much fun in American Hustle, and even moving in the first Hunger Games. But lately? Hrm.

Sponsored
Sponsored
Movie

Fences **

thumbnail

There’s only one fence in director and star Denzel Washington’s presentation of August Wilson’s play about an outsized personality and the world he finds himself squeezed into: the pine-plank job that trash man, father, and former Negro Leagues baseball star Troy Maxson builds around his backyard over the course of the film. But the plural is no accident: it points to that single fence’s many uses and significances: to keep loved ones in, to keep enemies out, to mark a man’s personal achievements and limitations — the reach of his power and the limits imposed upon him. It’s a lot for a plain wood fence to bear; happily, the real work here is done by the film’s fine cast (including Viola Davis as Maxson’s long-suffering wife) — and even more, by Wilson’s words, which do more to define the territory than any fence ever could. Your best bet is to let those mellifluous, multitudinous words bewitch, bother, and beguile you; then maybe you won’t notice the stagey presentation, slight story, and occasional emotional overreach.

Find showtimes

Fences? It’s hard to know which is more bravura, August Wilson’s dialogue or Denzel Washington’s performance of same, but it’s still an awful stagey movie. And for all the talk about the house, I feel like it should have played more of a role, the way the castle did in Citizen Kane. Instead, it was very much a space inside of which folks moved around. Still, it was the best of my bunch.

Movie

Lion ***

thumbnail

I’d be lyin’ were I to express indifference to <em>Lion</em>, the story of a young man who, twenty years after an unexpected trip on an decommissioned train car deposited him 1000 miles from home, uses Google Earth to reunite with his long-lost family. The task of wringing overpowering visuals out of the simple act of watching characters interface with a computer display has proved daunting to most. Screenwriter Luke Davies and director Garth Davis bypass the cliches with the greatest of ease only to be briefly set off course with a repetitive third act. How many pensive shots of a Christ-like Saroo (Dev Patel) staring into space do we need? Nicole Kidman as Patel’s adoptive mother from down under and Rooney Mara as his supportive girlfriend leave one wanting more of both. The same can be said of five-year-old Sunny Pawar, whose work as the young Saroo deserves major attention from Awards groups.

Find showtimes

The best of Scott’s bunch was the quest-for-birth-parents story Lion (hence the tweak of T. S. Eliot in the title of this post), which gets extra points for overcoming expectations. (Scott loves it when films do that, viz. Remember, et al. The worst was Notes on Blindness, which earned a walk-out — only his second this year but the first that involved leaving his living room. The bad boyfriend romp Why Him? will presumably fall somewhere in between; he’s at the screening now.

What’s that? Why didn’t we review the animated singing competition movie Sing? Because you don’t need a review to know if you want to see that one.

Cheers, all. Here’s to 2017.

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