Shhh! Do you hear that? It's an exculpatory aggregation of fear-drenched hoopla meant to shock and alarm.
"You'll shiver as you ride the river of the dead!"
"The ghoulish story of a wild motorcycle gang lost in the desert, mocking the supernatural until one-by-one they die!"
"Scream in fright as these skull-faced monsters strike blindly at living flesh and the motion picture screen flows in their blood-drenched wake!"
"In color! Rated R! Under 17 not admitted without parent!"
Submitted for your listening pleasure, a personally curated collection of radio commercials — 40 minutes worth! — from some of the best and even better, worst horror films of all time.
Below is a track list for this Pandora's box of unspeakable perversion. There are no chapter stops — it was either this or 47 YouTube links — making it perfect background noise for tomorrow night's spooktacular.
- The Exorcist
- Psycho (Lobby announcements read by Mr. Hitchcock)
- Watch Me When I Kill
- The Angry Red Planet
- The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant
- Frenzy of Blood — I Dismember Mama — Blood-Spattered Bride
- Nurse Sherri
- The Omega Man
- Planet of the Apes
- Beneath the Planet of the Apes
- Escape from the Planet of the Apes
- Conquest of the Planet of the Apes
- Battle for the Planet of the Apes
- Secret Ceremony
- The Fury
- Disneyland Haunted Mansion
- The Astro Zombies
- Cape Fear
- Destroy All Monsters
- Exorcist III
- Werewolves on Wheels
- Cannibal Girls — Raw Meat
- Hell Night
- Last House on the Left
- Toolbox Murders
- The Food of the Gods
- They Came from Within
- Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1976)
- House of Exorcism (With Telly Savalas!)
- Don't Answer the Phone
- Altered States
- Andy Warhol's Dracula
- Halloween Convention of Spooks Trailer
- Demon Seed
- Cat 'o Nine Tails
- The Greatest Monster of 'em All!
Happy Halloween! Remember: don't eat any apples you can shave with!