Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Birthday fantasy

At 26,  I was expecting to be further along and not having to shovel dirt into an empty hole of promise.
At 26, I was expecting to be further along and not having to shovel dirt into an empty hole of promise.

Title: Whitneybutler’s Blog

Address: http://whitneybutle…">whitneybutler.wordp…

Author: Whitney Butler

From: Escondido

Blogging since: 2010

Post Title: Birthday Fantasy

Post Date: October 31, 2012

I’m in a public gym on a Stairmaster having an erotic fantasy. What is going on with me? It’s a few days before my birthday, I’m about to turn 26, and I’m projecting a steamy shower scene from an endless staircase. Perfect.

Am I the only 25-year-old kind of freaking out about being 26?

Sponsored
Sponsored

Trust me, this isn’t melancholy over passing the proverbial threshold of the early 20s. It’s not about how “making out with a stranger in-da’-club” no longer satisfies my abnormally chauvinistic sexual prowess. Nor is this about the youthful excuses that are slowly becoming socially non-applicable:

“Yeah...sorry about the house. I was really drunk. Tell your parents I said ‘my bad.’”

“Sorry, Jason, I’ve just never done this before. I don’t think I’m ready.”

Nope, that’s certainly not going to work anymore. This isn’t even about the fact that shopping at Forever 21 now makes me feel more self-aware of my imminent super-morbid obesity.

Actually, I have no idea what this is about, because right now, I’m having an erotic fantasy at the gym. What was I talking about?

At 26, I guess I was expecting to be further along and not having to shovel dirt into an empty hole of promise made to a generation of 20-somethings, all trying to figure it out during some serious national bullshit.

It’s a big, scary world out there, people, and I don’t mean to sound dark, but the bottom line is this: being 26…kind of sucks, and not because of the aforementioned inequalities between myself and those still on the underbelly of adulthood, clinging to their aspirations like baby monkeys.

Twenty-six sucks because those aspirations are entirely possible, and I’m the only thing standing in the way of realizing them. But resources have become increasingly more limited across every plane of personal growth and prosperity this beautiful country has to offer.

“But, Whitney, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.”

Shut-up, Grandma! When you were 26, you had a husband, kids, a house, and Social Security. Your man enjoyed real wage increases and the Federal Reserve wasn’t ruining everyone’s life savings. I work 60 hours a week on a 1099 contract, for God’s sake. Where’s my benefit? Oh, that’s right, I can have an abortion.

So, excuse me for my lack of celebration. I’m too busy being an emotionally introspective writer-type who occasionally has amazing fantasies at the gym.

However, I promised myself to be progressive about this birthday; to stand bold and take command of these feelings that may just be disillusioned anxieties creeping up my backside like icky black spiders. The spiders are just hyperbole, but the feelings are real — however disenchanted they may be.

Instead of letting those feelings thwart my birthday promise, I’ll be busy looking at the bright side of gaining invaluable life experience, priceless seconds of unadulterated joy and the company of people I am truly honored to share this journey with.

[One year earlier…]

Post Title: Homecoming

Post Date: October 30, 2011

I feel like I have been living out of a suitcase for the past fifteen months. I get the sense that most people enjoy some level of stability or permanency; a sense of what is to come, at least an idea of how to speculate one’s future. But when you barely have an address, when you pick up three different coin currencies off the bottom of the washing machine, look at them in your hand, you start to wonder: what am I doing? And if and when you figure it out, you wonder even more if you made the right decision.

I was lost. Somewhere between jobs, between countries, between thoughts on what I was going to do next. It’s hard to imagine that anyone could miss home when they’re touring through one of the most beautiful places on the planet: the French Riviera is beautiful. A ride along the Amalfi Coast is said to be a religious experience, but I wasn’t looking for God. I was thinking about home — whatever that means.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Nation’s sexy soldiers stage protest at Pendleton in wake of change in Marine uniform policy

Semper WHY?
At 26,  I was expecting to be further along and not having to shovel dirt into an empty hole of promise.
At 26, I was expecting to be further along and not having to shovel dirt into an empty hole of promise.

Title: Whitneybutler’s Blog

Address: http://whitneybutle…">whitneybutler.wordp…

Author: Whitney Butler

From: Escondido

Blogging since: 2010

Post Title: Birthday Fantasy

Post Date: October 31, 2012

I’m in a public gym on a Stairmaster having an erotic fantasy. What is going on with me? It’s a few days before my birthday, I’m about to turn 26, and I’m projecting a steamy shower scene from an endless staircase. Perfect.

Am I the only 25-year-old kind of freaking out about being 26?

Sponsored
Sponsored

Trust me, this isn’t melancholy over passing the proverbial threshold of the early 20s. It’s not about how “making out with a stranger in-da’-club” no longer satisfies my abnormally chauvinistic sexual prowess. Nor is this about the youthful excuses that are slowly becoming socially non-applicable:

“Yeah...sorry about the house. I was really drunk. Tell your parents I said ‘my bad.’”

“Sorry, Jason, I’ve just never done this before. I don’t think I’m ready.”

Nope, that’s certainly not going to work anymore. This isn’t even about the fact that shopping at Forever 21 now makes me feel more self-aware of my imminent super-morbid obesity.

Actually, I have no idea what this is about, because right now, I’m having an erotic fantasy at the gym. What was I talking about?

At 26, I guess I was expecting to be further along and not having to shovel dirt into an empty hole of promise made to a generation of 20-somethings, all trying to figure it out during some serious national bullshit.

It’s a big, scary world out there, people, and I don’t mean to sound dark, but the bottom line is this: being 26…kind of sucks, and not because of the aforementioned inequalities between myself and those still on the underbelly of adulthood, clinging to their aspirations like baby monkeys.

Twenty-six sucks because those aspirations are entirely possible, and I’m the only thing standing in the way of realizing them. But resources have become increasingly more limited across every plane of personal growth and prosperity this beautiful country has to offer.

“But, Whitney, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.”

Shut-up, Grandma! When you were 26, you had a husband, kids, a house, and Social Security. Your man enjoyed real wage increases and the Federal Reserve wasn’t ruining everyone’s life savings. I work 60 hours a week on a 1099 contract, for God’s sake. Where’s my benefit? Oh, that’s right, I can have an abortion.

So, excuse me for my lack of celebration. I’m too busy being an emotionally introspective writer-type who occasionally has amazing fantasies at the gym.

However, I promised myself to be progressive about this birthday; to stand bold and take command of these feelings that may just be disillusioned anxieties creeping up my backside like icky black spiders. The spiders are just hyperbole, but the feelings are real — however disenchanted they may be.

Instead of letting those feelings thwart my birthday promise, I’ll be busy looking at the bright side of gaining invaluable life experience, priceless seconds of unadulterated joy and the company of people I am truly honored to share this journey with.

[One year earlier…]

Post Title: Homecoming

Post Date: October 30, 2011

I feel like I have been living out of a suitcase for the past fifteen months. I get the sense that most people enjoy some level of stability or permanency; a sense of what is to come, at least an idea of how to speculate one’s future. But when you barely have an address, when you pick up three different coin currencies off the bottom of the washing machine, look at them in your hand, you start to wonder: what am I doing? And if and when you figure it out, you wonder even more if you made the right decision.

I was lost. Somewhere between jobs, between countries, between thoughts on what I was going to do next. It’s hard to imagine that anyone could miss home when they’re touring through one of the most beautiful places on the planet: the French Riviera is beautiful. A ride along the Amalfi Coast is said to be a religious experience, but I wasn’t looking for God. I was thinking about home — whatever that means.

Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

2024 continues to impress with yellowfin much closer to San Diego than they should be

New rockfish regulations coming this week as opener approaches
Next Article

Navy solves San Diego homeless crisis by retiring four locally moored ships

Decommision Accomplished
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.