The Frozen Carcass of Ted Williams

Thirty Years Ago Your surrealistic story on me was taken far too seriously by some of your readers (if the vehemence of some of the letters you received is any indication). As journalism, the piece was an exaggerated, out-of-context fantasy peppered with malicious personal shots. As political fiction it was a delightful parody and fun to read. -- LETTERS: "ROGER OVER AND OUT," Roger Hedgecock, Supervisor, Third District, September 22, 1977

Twenty-Five Years Ago I know Jamie. I have talked to her for hours. I have read about her and women like her for countless hours more. Now I'm writing. Trying to find out what it's like to "do it." To walk around town -- four or five times a week, or maybe every day -- knocking back five to ten pounds of food, knowing that in an hour you'll go into a bathroom and vomit it all out. -- "CAPTIVES OF A STRANGE SECRET OBSESSION," Judith Moore, September 23, 1982

Twenty Years Ago A year later, my husband's internship came to an end, and he left for Vietnam. I bravely lived out the next nine months until his return, two days before our second son was born. I comforted myself that in five months we'd all be together, our Navy life would end, and we would work toward establishing a private practice. I wrote passionate letters, I worked at keeping him alive in the minds of my babies. Then one day, I got a postcard that had a photograph of a koala on it. My husband explained that he had been granted R&R, and he had chosen to spend it in Australia. Later on, when he was discharged and arrived home with a suitcase of dirty clothes, I found a letter from a woman in his coat pocket. Judging from the contents, she was under the impression that he was single. -- "SECOND BIRTH," Suzanne Kimball, September 24, 1987

Fifteen Years Ago Who'd be so obsessive to collect 93 "Little Miss No Name" big-eyed Keane dolls and knit little dresses for each? A hairy, fortyish fellow named Long Gone John. The Gone One's Manson Family jacket, the one with "Death Valley Devil's Witches" embroidered on the back, wasn't bought at ransom prices. It was given to him by Squeaky Fromme after a squeaky night of acid-driven sex. But a few weeks later, Charlie Manson wrote Mr. Long John and told him to lay off his women or else he'd deliver his neatly severed head to the Queen of England. -- HELL.A., Adam Parfrey, September 24, 1992

Ten Years Ago San Diego's first openly gay city councilwoman, Democrat Christine Kehoe, is pondering whether to run for Congress next year against GOP incumbent Brian Bilbray, and she's hired the polling firm of Evans-McDonough to test the waters. At least one Coronado resident reports getting a call this week from the Berkeley-based pollster, which is asking voters' opinions on everything from Kehoe's gayness to her support for the Chargers' stadium deal and its 60,000-seat ticket guarantee. -- CITY LIGHTS: "CHRISTINE & BRIAN & LYNN & PAUL,"Matt Potter, September 25, 1997

Five Years Ago What's up with Ted Williams? He's still dead. His children are still fighting. The issue in question is whether to keep Ted's carcass frozen or put Ted's carcass in an oven and roast it until said carcass turns to powder.

But, here's the happy news: the frozen carcass of Ted Williams has been a real pick-me-up for the Alcor Life Extension Foundation of Scottsdale, Arizona. Before Ted's frozen carcass became part of the Alcor Life Extension Foundation family, the Alcor Life Extension Foundation's website had 5000 hits per day. Press reports indicate that, thanks to Ted, the Alcor Life Extension Foundation's website now enjoys 600,000 hits per day. -- SPORTING BOX: "FUN, RELAXATION & ENTERTAINMENT," Patrick Daugherty, September 19, 2002

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