City Slick

When Toby Keith performs at Coors Amphitheatre on Sunday, September 9, "artist has his own roaming glow ring, glow rose and live rose glow products of any nature or any live roses are allowed to be sold by anyone other than representatives of the artist."

Keith requires 100 free tickets ("between the sixth and twelfth row") and another 100 "prime tickets" be set aside for his fan-club members. Dressing room requirements include a 12-pack of Diet Coke and a fruit tray, and he wants his tour bus stocked with a case of Dr Pepper, a case of Gatorade, and a 12-pack each of Newcastle ale and Honey Brown lager.

Bootleggers beware: "If any unauthorized recording is discovered, artist shall have the right to withhold artist's performance...until all copies of same and all mechanical instruments having to do with same have been surrendered." (From

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Who cares? He has a fan club? And who will be in the free-tix seats? Jerry Sanders? Brian Bilbray? Duncan Hunter? Darrell Issa? Carl DeMaio? Bill Kolender and sidekick Dumanis? Toby Keith is a loser musically. And who could forget his wrapped-in-the-biggest-flag-possible support of GW Bush and the invasion of Iraq?

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