Have you ever seen a party in a movie and wondered why the parties you go to are never as cool? Well, I went to a bash in Clairemont that was as cool as one of those movie parties. While passing the KyXy/Free FM station on my way to the Clairemont home, I saw a car had run off the road. The car belonged to a person who was going to the same party I was going to. The guy who owned the Saab told me his sob story. "I hit the curb...I missed my turn, and it just sort of popped the tire. Then a neighbor called the cops." His friend added that they had had a beer earlier in the evening and didn't appreciate cops showing up.
There was a security guard at the back-yard gate who was checking names against a guest list. "This keeps people from crashing the party," he said. I had heard about this party from an old high-school friend who knows the person who throws this party every year. Security had to hunt the guy down to get the okay to let me in. The security guard told me he was an off-duty cop. "If the cops show up to break the party up because of the noise, does it help to have you here?" I asked him. "Yeah, usually it does. I can talk them into leaving us alone." As I walked to the party from where I parked, around 9 p.m., I had heard the noise from three blocks away, and I saw two houses with people looking out their windows...probably wondering about the noise.
Several tiki torches glowed in the back yard. A bar was set up by the pool. Across from the bar, someone was stuffing carne asada tacos for whoever wanted one. There was a stage with go-go dancers on either side of the DJ.
Though there was a long line at the bar, it moved fast. The three bartenders knew what they were doing. When a few guys cut in line, a woman behind me said, "Free booze turns people into rude bastards!" I noticed the guys didn't tip their bartender, while the woman to my left tipped a bartender $20. A guy started hitting on a girl behind me, and after he said a few things and walked away, she looked at me and said, "He realized I wouldn't sleep with him, so he moved on."
Most of the crowd had Hawaiian shirts on, which fit the poolside atmosphere. There were two women in the Jacuzzi, but nobody went in the pool until one guy pushed his friend in. A woman said, "I'll keep you company," took her shirt off, and jumped in. (Calm down, guys, she had a bathing suit on under her clothes.) Those two were the only people in the pool...along with several rubber ducks that lit up the water.
The guys throwing the party were well prepared. Towels were stacked beside the pool and Jacuzzi. Alcohol and food were free, but they asked that you keep your cup. When I tried to walk into the house through the back door, two big security guys grabbed me and said, "Only women are allowed inside." I watched as two go-go dancers inside were wiping themselves down with towels. Another girl was let inside to use the bathroom. The guys had to use the two Port-a-Potties that were at the other end of the spacious back yard.
There was an ice luge set up, and as women poured alcohol down it, I came to the conclusion that they were wasting a lot of booze. It dribbled from their faces and went down their shirts as they giggled. The person pouring the booze never knows when to stop, and half of it ends up on the ground or choking the drinker. I mentioned this to someone who said, "That's half of the fun!"
There were two older guys at the party who didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the crowd. One of them said to me, "There are a lot of big girls here." I wasn't sure why he said that. There were a few, I guess, but so what?
His friend reminded me of Art Donovan, the football Hall-of-Famer. He was standing by the go-go dancers. I said, "You have the best seat in the house."
They were playing "The Humpty Dance," and I asked the guy if he liked the music. He said, "No!" A woman came over and told me she was his daughter.
A guy noticed that I was taking notes and asked, "Are you the party crasher?" I told him that I was, and he said, "No way! How did you get in with such tight security?" I said, "I jumped over that fence back there." He got excited about that and ran to tell his girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to admit that I knew someone who knew someone and talked my way in.
The most unusual attraction at the party was the body-piercing booth, where you could have had any part of your body pierced for free. I asked how much it usually costs and was told $50. I asked a woman in line, who looked to be about 50, what she was going to have pierced. She told me her nipple. I saw a guy lying on what looked like an operating table, while his wife told him to breathe slowly. The guy told her to shut up. I said, "Is he having a baby or something?" The wife repeated, "It will be less painful if you breathe properly." He, too, was having a nipple pierced, which I found, at this party, anyway, to be the body part of choice for piercing.
I met one of the party hosts who told me, "Each year we like to add something.... This year, it was the dancers, tacos, and the piercing. We had to go through a lot of hoops, because they don't like to do it when people are drunk or drinking."
When I talked with someone who had just had his belly button pierced, he said, "They told me your blood is thinner when you are drinking. They clamped down on me, and that hurt. The needle feels like a burning sensation. It's a little painful."
I heard the crowd at the piercing booth roar and looked over to see a woman who had taken her shirt off in preparation for a piercing.
I heard splashing and saw a guy had pushed his girlfriend into the pool. She was laughing as she swam to the edge.
As I was leaving, a guy showed me his bloody elbow. I asked, "Did you try to get your elbow pierced?" He laughed and said, "My damn niece...she dragged me across the dance floor! This is what happened."
Crash your party? Call 619-235-3000 x421 and leave an invitation for Josh Board.