This is not The Dating Game. I am not Chuck Woolery.

Worship from afar.

Dear Matthew Alice: I have fallen in love with Jewel Kilcher and would like her address and daytime phone. Thank you. — Idey, Blacksmith Union/KCR

Then I publish it and she’s so hassled by music fans she runs screaming from her house and comes over and flails me senseless. A fine plan. This is not The Dating Game. I am not Chuck Woolery. Nothing spoils romance faster than getting to know your love object. Worship from afar. Fewer problems.

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