The uselessness of toilet seat covers

Put 'em on your head

Dear Matthew Alice: Regarding those thin, tissue-like toilet seat liners. Printed on the box that holds them it says, “Provided by the management for your protection.’’ Other than butt grime, what can and do these flimsy things protect us from? — Sarah, San Diego

Our vivid, germophobic imaginations, I think. Science professionals have actually studied the likelihood of contracting some evil disease from a toilet seat, and they still maintain that you are at much more risk of acquiring germs from a handshake than you are by sitting on them. We’d be just as well off to put the paper things on our heads, since that’s mostly where the danger lies. In oUr minds. There’s little protection from that.

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