Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Serial Blogger

Today's Runner-Up is most definitely a worthy contender. The double oven is something that you almost never really need, but when you need it, you really need it. Look at me, I can bake bread and pie at the same time! Yippee! Seriously though, these things are sweet.

Onward, to the Big Winner:

Bag of Body parts (fake) - $30 (Normal Heights)

Thank god for parenthetical remarks, eh? I wonder what happens when we take said remark away...

Bag Of Body Parts - $30
"Well, I've had it up to here with the killing. It has to stop sooner or later, so I guess now's as good a time as any. In the beginning it was all fun and games; the stalking, hunting, killing, and dismembering. The hiding of the body parts in freezers in my basement. The giddy feeling whenever the newspaper reported another 'unsolved' killing, like I knew something nobody else did.

"Then it just started to get old, you know? After the tenth killing you just start asking yourself these nagging questions: 'Why am I doing this? What do I really stand to gain? What am I going to do with all these body parts now that my freezers are starting fill up?'

"It's at that point that any psychopath worth his salt knows it's time to hang up the meat-hooks and bone-saws, burn the photos of potential victims, flush the chloroform down the drain and call it quits. It's only a matter of time before some younger guy who just wants it more steps in and takes it away from you anyways. It takes a real pro to walk away at the height of his game. Just ask Charles Barkley.

"So, I guess this is it for me. I just don't have any use for this last bag of body parts I've got kicking around. Plus, every time I see it, it reminds me of my glory days when the bodies seemed limitless and I could barely find space to stash the limbs...

"Anyways, enough reminiscing for the time being. I've got four hands, three eyes, a heart, and eleven fingers up for grabs if you're interested. Hit me with an offer. Motivated seller who's just getting too old for this."

Like I said, where would we be without parenthetical remarks?

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

2024’s Best Bitcoin & Crypto Casinos – Play BTC Casino Games Online

Best Bitcoin Casinos (2024): Top 10 Crypto Casino Sites for BIG Payouts
Next Article

Didja know I did the first American feature on Jimi Hendrix?

Richard Meltzer goes through the Germs, Blue Oyster Cult, Ray Charles, Elvis, Lavender Hill Mob

Today's Runner-Up is most definitely a worthy contender. The double oven is something that you almost never really need, but when you need it, you really need it. Look at me, I can bake bread and pie at the same time! Yippee! Seriously though, these things are sweet.

Onward, to the Big Winner:

Bag of Body parts (fake) - $30 (Normal Heights)

Thank god for parenthetical remarks, eh? I wonder what happens when we take said remark away...

Bag Of Body Parts - $30
"Well, I've had it up to here with the killing. It has to stop sooner or later, so I guess now's as good a time as any. In the beginning it was all fun and games; the stalking, hunting, killing, and dismembering. The hiding of the body parts in freezers in my basement. The giddy feeling whenever the newspaper reported another 'unsolved' killing, like I knew something nobody else did.

"Then it just started to get old, you know? After the tenth killing you just start asking yourself these nagging questions: 'Why am I doing this? What do I really stand to gain? What am I going to do with all these body parts now that my freezers are starting fill up?'

"It's at that point that any psychopath worth his salt knows it's time to hang up the meat-hooks and bone-saws, burn the photos of potential victims, flush the chloroform down the drain and call it quits. It's only a matter of time before some younger guy who just wants it more steps in and takes it away from you anyways. It takes a real pro to walk away at the height of his game. Just ask Charles Barkley.

"So, I guess this is it for me. I just don't have any use for this last bag of body parts I've got kicking around. Plus, every time I see it, it reminds me of my glory days when the bodies seemed limitless and I could barely find space to stash the limbs...

"Anyways, enough reminiscing for the time being. I've got four hands, three eyes, a heart, and eleven fingers up for grabs if you're interested. Hit me with an offer. Motivated seller who's just getting too old for this."

Like I said, where would we be without parenthetical remarks?

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.