If some crazy woman accused a male friend of mine of rape, I'd tell them to just laugh it off. Crazy people often make all kinds of claims and people usually dismiss it.
But there seems to be this trend with famous people. And at first, I didn't have a lot of sympathy for them.
I don't think Mike Tyson raped a woman in a hotel room. But he was a brute and a thug, and if his personal life got him thrown in the slammer, oh well.
And I don't think Kobe Bryant raped a woman in a hotel in Colorado.
Now, someone may ask why Kobe settled for a million dollars. Well, aside from that being cheaper than his legal fees would've been, he was married at the time. I'm guessing that even if he had been proven "not guilty" his wife would've heard lots of details that he didn't feel like sharing. It probably would've proved he didn't rape her, but also that he did pursue her. So, he paid off two women (his wife got a $5 million diamond necklace).
So when famous men get caught in these jams, it might be hard for most of us to have sympathy.
But with these latest charges against Ben Roethlisberger, the talented quarterback of the Steelers, being accused of raping an employee of Harrah's Lake Tahoe; I realize something needs to be done.
This womans case has so many holes.
She didn't call police. She didn't report it to anyone. She says now it's because she was just given a promotion and one of her jobs was to "take care of" the VIP guests. But does anyone really buy that?
I think there are three common things that happen with many athletes (or famous men).
They have groupies that are willing to sleep with them, because they're fans.
The second thing that sometimes happens, is they have this confidence about them. They know they're rich and famous, and women usually fall all over them. So when they see a woman they're attracted to, they pursue them vigorously. They might not take no for an answer, initially. Or if the woman claims to be married, that might not slow them down.
Now, that doesn't mean they jump to rape. It just means they don't let up in their pursuit. And I'm guessing some women eventually tell them to get lost. And some women probably end up sleeping with them.
I have seen how these things go down (no pun intended).
As a 14-year-old, I saw two incidents in one year.
After a San Diego Clippers game, I got an autograph from Reggie Theus, my favorite player on the Bulls. He then sat down in his friends car, and they were listening to the radio. A gorgeous woman came up and told him how she had never seen anyone play as well as he did that night. He laughed and said, "What are you talking about? I only scored 12 points, and I played horribly." I was walking away as I glanced back to see her scramble, as she said "Well...uh...okay. I mean, other times I've seen you play. You're an amazing player. What are you doing later tonight?"
I had also won tickets to see a Joe Walsh concert in L.A. at the Wiltern theatre. Backstage passes were included.
I talked my older friend into driving if I paid for gas.
We were told at the box office that they were no longer going to give us backstage passes. I was bummed. I had brought an album for him to autograph, too.
My friend and I decided after the show to see if we could sneak backstage. A huge guy with a red windbreaker refused to let us back, saying "You don't have a laminate. You're not going backstage."
We watched as two women walked backstage. I said, "They don't have backstage passes." He laughed, as my friend said to me "Those two things on their chest...are backstage passes."
So, famous people start to think they can get any woman they want. Many of which approach them first.
And, the last type of woman...and this is extremely rare...probably looks at these guys as a big payday. They might hook-up with them and hope to become a wife or girlfriend. Or, they can claim they were raped, and hit a big payday. (The woman that Tyson "raped" had friends say that she told them before their date, that she hit the "jackpot"; she also invited him up to her room at 2:00 a.m.)
When sportscaster Marv Albert was accused of raping a woman...she had a little more proof. She contacted authorities immediately, and had his teeth marks on her back (as well as DNA).
Well...I figured he was guilty. Until we heard that those two had a long-term relationship (not that you can't rape someone you're in a relationship with). He had ended it and she contacted him, asking that they have one more night together. And she also requested that he bite her.
Again, it's hard to have sympathy for these men when a woman they're with requests you bite, choke, or punch them. And you comply! If a woman asked me to do any of those things, I'd run the opposite direction. In fact, I've run with a lot tamer requests.
David Lee Roth, in his autobiography, talks about a woman he slept with backstage. She kept insisting he spank her. He would, and she kept asking him to do it harder. He said he noticed she had huge red marks on her caused by him.
A few minutes later, the cops were pulling over the tour bus. He figured he was going to jail, and started thinking about his finger prints and if they could get them off her backside.
It turned out they were pulling the bus over because the back of it was on fire.
But here's the thing I can't wrap my mind around. If a woman makes a false allegation of rape, how about authorities throwing the book at them?
I'm thinking of this woman in the Duke lacrosse case. Her allegations cost this team an entire season. Some of them dropped out or were suspended.
And it turned out, she made up the entire story. Yet, her name wasn't revealed. And she didn't serve a day in jail.
And all the people like Jesse Jackson, that talked about the punishment the team should face...and his offer to pay for HER college education -- well, he was nowhere to be found after the truth came out.
If Roethlisberger didn't rape this woman, he should fight the charges. He should counter sue. Because just having this story come up, will probably cost him endorsement deals.
And if the woman turned out to have lied about all this, she should be doing some serious jail time.
And should spend the rest of her life reimbursing Roethlisberger.