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Bathroom Attendants

A day of football...and dealing with bathroom attendants.

So, I get to enjoy football on Sunday, watching the Chargers score over 50 points. Something everyone thought they were capable of doing before the season started.

I got to Seau's (the restaurant, not the clothing store, the football camp, or any other Seau's that might be out there). I have some friends that are Redskins fans, so I'm all for watching the night game there with them. Besides, one of the 'skins RBs is on my fantasy football team (he got me 129 yards and a touchdown, but I digest).

I go into the bathroom, and there's a bathroom attendant. Now, all my male friends have told me how much they hate them. It's uncomfortable. And, are you supposed to tip a guy that hands you a towel to dry your hands? A woman with me said, "I hate them, because I don't want them analyzing what I'm doing, or how long I'm taking."

I go to the urinal, and notice there are signs above each one that says "one person per urinal."

When I get to the sink, the attendant says "How was your piss, sir?" This comment struck me as odd. The words that came out of me, though, were "Quite lovely, thank you."

I then asked about those signs. He said something like "We had to put those up ever since that Sept. 28th incident." I asked, "Was that when Larry Craig did that thing in the airport bathroom?"

He laughed and replied, "No. We had people using the same urinal. They were really drunk, and so we had to put a stop to it."

He then takes out his cell phone and shows me a picture of the two guys sharing a urinal. I say, "Hey...a Chargers jersey, next to a Bears jersey. They unite when they urinate. That's kinda sweet."

Someone else nearby says, "You took a picture of someone in the bathroom?"

I then realized, he had a point. Cell phone cameras shouldn't be used in a bathroom.

But I'm glad he did. All the talk about sharing urinals, enabled me to slip out without leaving a tip.

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So, I get to enjoy football on Sunday, watching the Chargers score over 50 points. Something everyone thought they were capable of doing before the season started.

I got to Seau's (the restaurant, not the clothing store, the football camp, or any other Seau's that might be out there). I have some friends that are Redskins fans, so I'm all for watching the night game there with them. Besides, one of the 'skins RBs is on my fantasy football team (he got me 129 yards and a touchdown, but I digest).

I go into the bathroom, and there's a bathroom attendant. Now, all my male friends have told me how much they hate them. It's uncomfortable. And, are you supposed to tip a guy that hands you a towel to dry your hands? A woman with me said, "I hate them, because I don't want them analyzing what I'm doing, or how long I'm taking."

I go to the urinal, and notice there are signs above each one that says "one person per urinal."

When I get to the sink, the attendant says "How was your piss, sir?" This comment struck me as odd. The words that came out of me, though, were "Quite lovely, thank you."

I then asked about those signs. He said something like "We had to put those up ever since that Sept. 28th incident." I asked, "Was that when Larry Craig did that thing in the airport bathroom?"

He laughed and replied, "No. We had people using the same urinal. They were really drunk, and so we had to put a stop to it."

He then takes out his cell phone and shows me a picture of the two guys sharing a urinal. I say, "Hey...a Chargers jersey, next to a Bears jersey. They unite when they urinate. That's kinda sweet."

Someone else nearby says, "You took a picture of someone in the bathroom?"

I then realized, he had a point. Cell phone cameras shouldn't be used in a bathroom.

But I'm glad he did. All the talk about sharing urinals, enabled me to slip out without leaving a tip.

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