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Bohemian 'rito with Guac

It’s half past two in the morning at the Mission Hills Santana’s. A line of starving drunks talk loudly about their karaoke conquests at Lamplighter. Dapper locals mill around the salsa bar, texting. Sulky debutantes bitch about too much sour cream. It’s a classic Santana’s Saturday.

“Bohemian Rhapsody” comes over the jukebox. A few patrons take notice and mutter a lyric or two between mouthfuls of carne asada fries. “Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” Burritos fly out of the kitchen. More lyrics are mumbled. “Because I’m easy come, easy go. Little high, little low.”

Suddenly, the front door flies open. An inspired drunk stumbles in, thrusts his horchata cup skyward, and bellows: “Mama! Just killed a man! Put a gun against his head! Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead!”

Everything clicks. Rolled tacos and chicken tortas are temporarily forgotten. Hazy-eyed patrons with salsa red grins leap up on chairs, raise a poetic hand to the heavens, and sing. “Mama! Life has just begun! But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away!”

Strangers embrace. Guacamole high-fives make their rounds. A call and response chorus erupts. “Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the fandango?”

A pea-coated patron struts across the restaurant howling into a California ‘rito microphone. “Beezlebub has the devil put aside for me! For ME! FOR MEEEEEE!”

The guitar solo hits and everyone goes ape tits. The cooks let tortillas burn in order to channel epic solos through spatulas. A few can’t take it and vanish entirely in a cilantro-scented flash of spontaneous combustion.

“Nothing really matters. Anyone can see. Nothing really matters, to me.”

An insurance salesman stomps his bow-tie into the ground. A high school football star finds God. A Hells Angel sheds a single tear into his taquitos.

”Anyway the wind blows...”

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Favorite fakers: Baby Bushka, Fleetwood Max, Electric Waste Band, Oceans, Geezer – plus upcoming tribute schedule

It’s half past two in the morning at the Mission Hills Santana’s. A line of starving drunks talk loudly about their karaoke conquests at Lamplighter. Dapper locals mill around the salsa bar, texting. Sulky debutantes bitch about too much sour cream. It’s a classic Santana’s Saturday.

“Bohemian Rhapsody” comes over the jukebox. A few patrons take notice and mutter a lyric or two between mouthfuls of carne asada fries. “Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” Burritos fly out of the kitchen. More lyrics are mumbled. “Because I’m easy come, easy go. Little high, little low.”

Suddenly, the front door flies open. An inspired drunk stumbles in, thrusts his horchata cup skyward, and bellows: “Mama! Just killed a man! Put a gun against his head! Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead!”

Everything clicks. Rolled tacos and chicken tortas are temporarily forgotten. Hazy-eyed patrons with salsa red grins leap up on chairs, raise a poetic hand to the heavens, and sing. “Mama! Life has just begun! But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away!”

Strangers embrace. Guacamole high-fives make their rounds. A call and response chorus erupts. “Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the fandango?”

A pea-coated patron struts across the restaurant howling into a California ‘rito microphone. “Beezlebub has the devil put aside for me! For ME! FOR MEEEEEE!”

The guitar solo hits and everyone goes ape tits. The cooks let tortillas burn in order to channel epic solos through spatulas. A few can’t take it and vanish entirely in a cilantro-scented flash of spontaneous combustion.

“Nothing really matters. Anyone can see. Nothing really matters, to me.”

An insurance salesman stomps his bow-tie into the ground. A high school football star finds God. A Hells Angel sheds a single tear into his taquitos.

”Anyway the wind blows...”

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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