"Of course, here at Cheetah's Totally Nude, we do better because we work without panties on, just like the Mayor said."
As details from the sexual harassment allegations against Mayor Bob Filner continue to spill out, at least one local business is making sure that the whole sticky mess doesn't distract from the business at hand. "In fact," says Cheetah's owner Tim Wiggle, "ever since we started offering the Filner Dance, we've had trouble keeping the customers off the girls."
The Filner Dance is named after the Mayor's alleged technique for approaching and accosting attractive women. "Of course, we're not about to give away our trade secrets," said Mandi Handey, who dances on Wednesdays from midnight to 3 a.m., "but we've tried to incorporate as much of the Mayor's routine as possible. The Filner Dance takes place in a private booth - that covers the isolation tactics. Yes, there's groping of breasts and buttocks - I'll let you figure out whether or not it's wanted or unwanted. And because we believe that every American is innocent until proven naughty, we like to finish with a little thing we call Due Process."
More like this:
- City Council approves immediate execution of Brittany Killgore's alleged killers — Aug. 29, 2013
- Jan Goldsmith's "Hair": "Bob Filner sexually harassed me." — July 26, 2013
- We are being bullied into accepting a resignation from Filner: This is not a dictatorship — July 13, 2013
- Is Mayor Filner being set up by special interests? — July 10, 2013
- Dirty Dancing — May 2, 2002