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"Forget It Jake, It's Metropolitan."

Local Private Eye Claims to Have Uncovered Shadow Government Tied to Water Management District

"Behind every great fortune there is a great crime."

"It started as a standard snoop job," recalls Kearny Mesa-based private investigator Jake Gittes. "Some slobs from side of the political fence wanted me to catch some slob from the other side, up in Sacramento and in bed with a lobbyist. And by 'in bed with a lobbyist,' I mean 'in bed with a lobbyist.' Corruption exposed, the good guys get elected, democracy works, business as usual. Except it wasn't."

Gittes took a long drag on his Camel unfiltered and slowly exhaled a melancholy cloud of blue smoke. The tale he spun after that was as convoluted as it was preposterous, involving a plot to discredit San Diego Water Authority Board Chairman Michael Hogan, and a grand scheme to artificially spike San Diego water consumption rates by infiltrating high-end retirement complexes and cajoling residents into "accidentally" leave their faucets running all day. "The increased usage would then be used to justify the Metropolitan Water Authority's massive price hike," spat Gittes. "And thanks to the pictures I took, the only man who can stop it - Hogan - is getting dismissed as a paranoid crook. They were smart, I'll give 'em that. But they forgot one thing. Nobody makes a patsy out of Jake Gittes."

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Local Private Eye Claims to Have Uncovered Shadow Government Tied to Water Management District

"Behind every great fortune there is a great crime."

"It started as a standard snoop job," recalls Kearny Mesa-based private investigator Jake Gittes. "Some slobs from side of the political fence wanted me to catch some slob from the other side, up in Sacramento and in bed with a lobbyist. And by 'in bed with a lobbyist,' I mean 'in bed with a lobbyist.' Corruption exposed, the good guys get elected, democracy works, business as usual. Except it wasn't."

Gittes took a long drag on his Camel unfiltered and slowly exhaled a melancholy cloud of blue smoke. The tale he spun after that was as convoluted as it was preposterous, involving a plot to discredit San Diego Water Authority Board Chairman Michael Hogan, and a grand scheme to artificially spike San Diego water consumption rates by infiltrating high-end retirement complexes and cajoling residents into "accidentally" leave their faucets running all day. "The increased usage would then be used to justify the Metropolitan Water Authority's massive price hike," spat Gittes. "And thanks to the pictures I took, the only man who can stop it - Hogan - is getting dismissed as a paranoid crook. They were smart, I'll give 'em that. But they forgot one thing. Nobody makes a patsy out of Jake Gittes."

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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