It doesn’t help hunting’s cause that it’s a big pain

There are so many other ways to get your wood-to-table fix

A hipster will browse acres of thrift shops in the middle of a December cold snap to hunt down the perfect ugly Christmas sweater. Hunting for deer? Not so much.
  • A hipster will browse acres of thrift shops in the middle of a December cold snap to hunt down the perfect ugly Christmas sweater. Hunting for deer? Not so much.

Hipster:

I was thinking about hunting the other day, and I thought it was kind of ironic that you never hear the manly man lumberjack hipsters talking about hunting. Wouldn’t that go along with the territory? I’d think it would be a sustainable, retro way to get your wood-to-table fix. Are there other things that one would expect hipsters to like, but in reality hipsters don’t care about?

— Glenn

It doesn’t help hunting’s cause that it’s a big pain in the ass. Hunters walk for miles in the freezing cold, and, if they’re lucky, they get to field dress a carcass (not pretty) and drag it out of the woods. You’ve got to be really into hunting to put up with that amount of work for that little (and hardly guaranteed) reward. That’s not to say that if hipsters were into hunting, they wouldn’t put in the effort. A hipster will browse acres of thrift stores in the middle of a freezing December cold snap to find the perfect ugly Christmas sweater. No, the problem is more that other groups (including, but not limited to, bros, rednecks, Republicans, and Canadians) have staked out hunting as their sovereign territory, and there just isn’t enough room in the sandbox for the hipsters to play.

I can think offhand of a few other arenas where no expected hipster interest vests, but I will hold off listing them for a little while because, (a) I’ve just now run out of space, and (b) I don’t want to miss one, so I’ll keep the phone lines open for a while yet. HMU with your suggestions. What would you expect to be hipster things, but aren’t?

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